Welcome Back, My Child.

I know, its been a while.....As you can see from prior posts or lack of, Im not great at this blogging stuff.  However, I feel compelled to share.  

My Cankle, after the final cast and hardware was removed. 

Heres a brief update. So much has happened over the last many months...I started playing roller derby for Dallas Derby Devils and in a near death experience ;) with a toddler at leisure skate, I rolled my ankle last Feb. This resulted in over a year of chronic issues, ending in 2 surgeries and a few internal metal bits.  I was 100% non-weight bearing, casted with a walker and crutches, and unable to walk for 10 weeks. Living alone made this one of the hardest times in my life emotionally. What I learned: How to drift my walker around the corners on my concrete floors, how to flash the neighbors when falling in the front yard in my robe, how to carry coffee/beer while rolling walker backwards (sometimes flipping it), and how to bedazzle and glitter a cast, Rack City style.  The truth is, I am stronger then I ever knew and that it is extremely hard for me to ask for help. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, that is so true.  

Our NEW logo

While I was laid  up, we did make great progress with Nourish. The Nourish Collective, a non-profit I helped to start many years ago, finally received 501c3 tax exemption after several years of dreaming, struggling, tears, help, and love.  We are a collective of sassy, passionate women that have committed our lives to putting hope on the map. From our sparkly new site, "The Nourish Collective’s Mission is to nourish individuals, families, and communities by fostering sustainable solutions to poverty, poor health and disease, and hopelessness through advocacy, education, and a network of combined resources. Over ten years in the making, The Nourish Collective, sprung from caffeine-induced, late night brainstorming about saving the world “Powerpuff Girl style.” This may or may not include glitter and a pink helicopter."  

My part in the Collective includes heading up the Soap & H20 program. We recently completed an instructional, step-by-step manual for making handmade soap for personal use or sale in developing countries. The manual, intended for use in developing nations as part of a comprehensive vocational or small business development program, includes basic education on disease prevention from use of soap and handwashing and basic business development topics including pricing, accounting, and marketing. Helping women and families become sustainable and at the same time, decreasing disease.   


All of this leads me to this.  One day, after what felt like forever, I was back.  After such a long time, just like that, I was on a jet airliner, headed back to my Dear India for the 4th time with Operation Smile.  I was asked to join a mission at a new site in Silchar, Assam.  With the help of my awesome co-coworkers, I was able to say YES.  I was on a team with several friends I have met along my journey and I made many more that will forever hold a place in my heart.  I volunteered with OpSmile, taught soap-making with Nourish, and was able to help feed the kiddos living in the slum with a wonderful non-profit called The Pratyasha Foundation.  My dear friend Leslie, a great gal that I met on my Jordan mission, was my roommate. She always bakes dozens of homemade cookies and we spent many nights in bed, laughing and eating them from the little tupperware boxes she packed them in.  

This trip was difficult as was returning home, leaving behind all I had seen and experienced.  I have had several moments in my life that have caused me to stop and question who I am, what I believe in, what I am made of and where I am going.  What will I do with this precious life I have been given? Times where I am overwhelmed with possibility and left with only more questions and at the same time, knowing I am exactly where I am suppose to be.  This trip was one of those moments.  I will write more about those experiences in a bit.  These are hard to convey. Hard to share. Hard to sort out.  Words seems to only dilute them. 

Feeding & loving the kiddos in the slums of Lakhtokia

During one of my first shifts back in the ER where I work after returning, I took care of an older man. He had bright, brown eyes and  dark chocolate skin.  I asked where he was from and he said, Congo." I said, "DRC." He looked at me as I sat down next to him to place his IV and draw his blood and with his hand in mine, he spoke to me.  He asked me how I knew about DRC and I told him of my recent journey to India, my volunteering in developing nations and even about how I was struggling.  And then, he asked "Why? Why do you go?" I immediately felt tears welling up and my heart stirring.  I sat there, without words and then after a few quiet moments, I said, "I go because I was born to go, I go because I have to, I go because I was made for this. I go because this is what has been placed in my heart and I am unsettled.  But it is hard, and at times I am angry and I often feel alone."  He asked if I was a believer and then said what I will never forget.  "You are different.  God has placed this in you. You have to tell people of your journey. What matters is sharing what you have seen and helping others to understand.  It is the legacy you leave behind. What good is what you have seen if no one else knows? What is God? God is Love. There is no denomination, no rules that man makes up, no right religion, there is only this.  It is simple, we confuse things. God is Love. You are special."  And so, I will tell.  And I will love...a fierce, vulnerable, painful, wonderful love.  And I will be grateful that God used an old, black man with a heavy accent to speak to me.